INTERVIEW WITH AN EXTREME CRAPPER

chrysler5thavenue: why is it again that you crapped in bags?
crapper: Because I lived in a motel full of crack heads and only had a public bathroom and the door didn't lock
crapper: You can't defend yourself if you're shitting
chrysler5thavenue: did you also say you crapped into your cereal bowl?
crapper: No o_O
crapper: I only had one bowl
crapper: It was for FOOD
chrysler5thavenue: i thought you said you crapped into that bowl, then put the turds in a bag, and then washed the bowl & ate oatmeal out of it
crapper: Nooooo
crapper: Steamer I never used
crapper: I did that sometimes
chrysler5thavenue: you crapped into a steamer?
crapper: Until I figured out the correct way to shit in the bag without it touching me
crapper: Yeah
crapper: I never used it!
crapper: I had gotten it for broccoli
crapper: But the broccoli smelled weird
crapper: Chemicalish
crapper: It shouldn't smell like chemicals
chrysler5thavenue: did you steam your crap?
crapper: -.-
crapper: No
chrysler5thavenue: why do i remember you telling me you crapped into your breakfast bowl? i would've remembered if you told me you crapped into a steamer.
crapper: I just called the steamer a bowl
crapper: It's bowl shaped
crapper: And I didn't have a breakfast bowl
crapper: I had a small little campfire bowl thing
chrysler5thavenue: did you eat breakfast out of it?
crapper: I don't think I ever really ATE breakfast
crapper: I lived on ramen, pasta, etc
chrysler5thavenue: oatmeal
chrysler5thavenue: you ate oatmeal
crapper: Not for breakfast usually
chrysler5thavenue: you ate ramen for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner?
crapper: I didn't really eat breakfast
crapper: I ate later in the day
chrysler5thavenue: just because you're asleep in the morning when everyone eats breakfast doesn't mean you don't eat breakfast
crapper: I DID NOT SHIT IN THE BOWL I ATE OUT OF
crapper: Kthnx